littlecatk

Fandom: Primeval (Season 3-5)

Music: Florence & The Machine - My Boy Builds Coffins 

Character: Hilary Becker

Warning: blood, character death, guns, animal death, 

#Nobody wants to be the last one standing

 

Another reupload from febuary, again with fixed away Gostframes.
This video always got pixel-y when i load it up and after recutting everything 3 times i just gave up: so while it looks a bit weird and it is a very clichee theme - it is still very dear to my heart, Becker is one of the character i overidentify with so he has to battle my inner demons for me (for example i bet the writers did not think of him as anything but cis but for me he is everything but that). Loyality has always been one of my fav character traits and ficitional characters whos arcs are built around wanting to serve an idea or certain people always easily lead to be my favorite characters. 

I always loved how Becker kills that Predator its an execution its slow, intentional and probably very cathartic for him.

"He can't carve a whistle" The idea that he is only good for this, the exclusion from the people cheering - while he helped make this possible he did it by ducking his head and quietly spying which is not the style of the rest of the team who first believed he betrayed them "cause he just don´t care" it is a obivious lie, like saying "I am fine" - the supernatural fandom has the phrase "too much heart was always [his] problem" which is symptomatic for a lot of bad shit that goes down in the show, but also here, seeing his own emotions as a weakness, not because he devalues emotions themself but because for his emotional wellbeing it is so important that the other people are safe and the idea that he is faulty if they are not - specialy if it was because he was emotional distracted. Like the old Star Trek mnemotechnic verse about Data not being pogrammed to have emotions but seeking them out and Spock being very emotional but shunning them/as Harry brust out in the 5 book after Sirius dead, having emotions is fucking exhausting. 

"The rich and the poor" I once saw a fanvideo using this scene with "someone to kill at my command" and thats the kind of dark humor i am in for, they are ragged and coming back from one year in dino time but for him they represent the good, innocent in his work.

"Beggars and Liars" Phillip almost brought the end of the world; Abby: Helen manipulated your humannity that´s what she does. that´s what she is good at. - Phillip: No i think she used my ego." He tried to repair his mistake but it was to late and he died, something none of them wanted to happen.

I once read the line: Phillip offerd Becker the arc Christine had offerd him before but this time he took it gratefuly. 

Christine is another villian manipulated by Helene. Like Phillip she revamps the ARC as a more controlled military organisation, this time Becker accept that in the hope that if he won´t get attached he can´t get hurt.

Becker really wanted to shot Christine there but i always through that he blamed himself even more.

"They all come to him 'cause he's so eager to please" Despite all that he let the job call him back after he lost everything, not for hope but to suffer for his sins. 

Becker shoting the Cleaner is one of my fav scenes, because its a human, there are not a lot of scenes like this, and that emphasizes the weight of it, look at his face.

But it's not just for work and it isn't for play" The first time Abby and Con (and the rest of the team) meet Becker, is this: the solidiers are dressed in black and they arrive like punky school kids late for class  - it is a nice contrast.

As said alternative title is Becker doesnt die and feels bad for it (because everyone else does) - he can just stand there and try to hold together the pieces.

"for better or worse/Some say its a blessing, some say its a curse"The first shots come back here, Jess tries to tell him that what he did was good/enough but he cant hear her/the transition to her bloody and scared. and he cant save her or comfort her. ("He can't carve a whistle")

I love! the continuity of movement here: Nick Cutters death, is a turning point of the show, he was the main character and his death in the middle of the season really has this high stakes everyone can die-feel,  and it is Conner who carried him out, and this are Abbys hands on his dead body - both had the "kid" status in the theme (the scene before this he carries Jess who is the new youngest/most untouched/inncoent one). 

The difference in scene of Abbys hand on Nicks body and Becker approching Henrys one carefully - Henry was Emilys husband and he was really not a good one, but like with Phillip no one wanted him to die, like how the reaction i read a lot in fandom (years later and silently as i am shy) about Helene Carters death suprised me, people said they were cheering on it, while Beckers guilt/grief over everyones death even this one is not what all express and i am sure there is still anger and hurt and a bit of relief that there are things that are no longer problems that will arise again i always had the feeling that the show did relativly well in making clear that the dead of a villian is not: the prefered solution, or even worse the most heroic solution; something that stands outside the feeling of everyone can die.

He crafts everyone with love and with care" Becker: I am sorry Abby" but he cant listen to her begging, he will set up the bomb, sacreficing Conner and Matt for the live of many others. This is not what he wanted but it is like the final where Matt intented to sacrefic himself, its kind of this hero privilege the "no one gets left behind"-(no matter the cost) like in season 3 Becker is angry at Danny when he decides to keep on searching for Abbys brother. Becker would probably rather do Matts job and be blown up doing it then being here. (Matt knows this very well in this episode and in the first of season 4 he holds Abby physical back from running after Conner who is in danger, and he knows that he has to live to the final to save the world, but just like Becker he became attached) -"Then it's thrown in the ground, it just isn't fair"- see the next scene where he intent to sacrefic himself to give them time to save Abbys brother, 

I love the standing over position/framing parallel with the "catched every red light" scene and the one where he picks them for Christine (I just love the scene, the hand on the hip? how all of them are more "dissapointed not mad"/annoyed then scared or anything?) 

As said i overidentify with Becker and him serving/using his body as a tool with few regards for its well being is very relatable for me. 

The animal jumps to kill Becker, and Con,Matt and Abs raise their guns without hesitation but afterwards Matt says to Abby softly "We cant bring them all back" - think back of to 3.1 or 3.7 where Abby wanted to save the animals but Beckers first priortiy were the lives of the team.